Control your anger my children

Control your anger my dear child

By Ghulam Mohyuddin wani

Yes I am stubborn. My elder brother and a cousin sister were perhaps responsible for it. When we were young they used to tease me .I used to get irritated and shout on them. They used to simply laugh or run away, leaning me a laughing stock. My mother will side with them and abuse me instead. Yes my aunty and grand mama did try always to comfort me .I never realized the folly of my anger. When you are angry you loss control to convince others and even if you are on right, you are misunderstood and you lose goodwill or the friends. This simple natural instinct of man although relieves you immediately of the bad effects of restrain, but it tell upon your nerves and behaviour. This weakness of mine used to be exploited by my fellow friends and foes and always exploited to harm me. I never realized it till of late I met a friend .She was simple, beautiful and charming who used to be composed and contained even when I shouted on her. She was a dear dole who always spoke well of others and never said loudly what the civilized used to whisper behind the back. Any way her I am to tell you how foolish I was to react to the simple teasing pointers of my brother and cousin sister. They used to criticize my overeating or eating a lot. They used to taint me as a mama peer .Mam peer was a servant of our maternal uncle who has uttered the first words of Allah in my ear when I was born. He used to work hard in the fields and naturally used to eat a lot too. More than the rest who used to be at home doing nothing but roaming and cursing others in wisphers.When they and the children of mu maternal uncle used to tease me on eating more than them. I used to get angry and shout on them. Till late I never accepted that yes I was a good eater and also worked more than all of them. I always stood first and got medals and good marks than all of them. I was more successful than all of them in life except that their teasing made me always suspicious and angry in life. I lost many friends and dear one just for reacting to every tease or whisper. Had I not reacted to the wishers and comments in life I would have achieved more? Here I tell you some of my follies in life. During my childhood I reacted to every teas or remark pointed towards me. My angry replies were taken as uncivilized .I know well even today they were the truth, but truth spoken in anger paint it with sour taste and it loses it taste. If we learn in childhood to paint our truth with sweet tone of calculated and well thought words you are in a win situation. You tell the truth without hurting any one. A teacher of mine who used to wear spectacles used to tell us. Well if you see my speckles you can narrate in two forms. One is that you bluntly tell be najam koon.His name was Peer Najaum-uddin, in Kashmir anyone having defective eye is called as Koon. So he said if you call me Najam koon, it will hurt me. But if you modify your tone and tell me Master jee what is wrong with your eye, as your are wearing a spectacle. The both the versions carry the same meaning and information about me that I have a defect in my eye. The later usage of soother words will not annoy me. So my dear children we have learn to use soother words to criticise. The best way is never react instantly. Hear the criticism and ponder its provocative nature. May be when you get irritated and angry. Pause and take some water and think on the mechanics of the person who tries to irritate you. Once you overcome the first shock of what was said against you, you can answer it tactfully and with much more confidence and pleasing tone. You will conquer your anger. God in his book the Quran insisted on patience during rage and anger. These are the qualities of a successful. Through this story of mine I apologise for the angry words I often used against my friends and foes. I pray God to forgive me.

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